Breaking the Cycle: How Habits Affect Infant Sleep.

If you’ve ever wondered why your little one struggles to fall asleep or why certain bedtime routines work better than others, you’re not alone. Sleep isn’t just about tiredness it’s about patterns and habits. Understanding how babies learn to sleep can make a world of difference. In this post, we’ll explore how babies develop sleep habits, why consistency matters, and how a simple approach called the ABC model can help.  

Why Do Babies Struggle With Sleep?  

Newborns aren’t born knowing how to sleep the way adults do. Unlike us, they don’t have a fully developed body clock (also called the circadian rhythm), which helps regulate sleep and wake times. Instead, they learn through repetition and cues from their environment.  

As parents, we unintentionally create patterns some that help our baby sleep well and others that make it harder. That’s where habit formation comes in.  By recognising why certain habits form and how they are reinforced, you can create positive sleep associations and help your child become a more independent sleeper.

What is a Habit Loop?  

A habit loop is a simple cycle that explains how behaviors form. It has three parts:  

Cue (Trigger ) - A signal that tells the brain to start a behaviour (e.g., dimming the lights at bedtime).  

Routine (Behaviour) – The action that follows the cue (e.g., rocking your baby to sleep).  

Reward (Consequence) – A positive result that reinforces the habit, making it more likely to repeat (e.g., your baby feels comforted and falls asleep).  

An example of an adult habit loop for an individual who has a morning coffee routine is described as follows.

Cue- Waking up feeling tired

Routine- Making and drinking coffee

Consequence- Feeling more alert and ready for the day.

When a baby follows the same bedtime routine every night, their brain starts associating certain cues with sleep. This helps them settle faster and sleep longer.

An example of a positive sleep habit loop is set out below.

Cue- Dim lights, bedtime lullaby, cuddles

Routine- Baby is placed in a cot after the parent says goodnight.

Consequence- Baby falls asleep easily and wakes up rested.

However, if a child always relies on an external sleep prop (e.g. rocking, feeding, or being held) they form a dependent sleep habit loop. An example is set out below.

Cue- Parent starts bedtime routine.

Routine- Baby is rocked or fed to sleep

Consequence -Baby falls asleep but learns to rely on rocking/feeding to settle.

Because the consequence (falling asleep) is positive, the brain reinforces the behaviour, making it harder for the child to sleep independently.

Double habit loops involve two overlapping habit loops that reinforce each other. in the context of infant sleep this often means that both the child and the parent develop habits that keep the cycle going. These loops can make sleep challenges more persistent.

Baby’s Habit Loop:

Cue: Wakes up at night

Routine: Cries for comfort

Consequence: Parent picks them up and soothes them back to sleep

Parent’s Habit Loop:

Cue: Hears baby crying

Routine: Goes in and rocks/feeds baby back to sleep

Consequence: Baby stops crying, and everyone gets back to sleep quickly (for now)

Over time, both loops become deeply ingrained. The baby learns that waking up and crying brings comfort, while the parent learns that quickly responding helps settle the baby (temporarily) and they get to go back to sleep. However, this cycle makes independent sleep difficult because the baby relies on external soothing instead of self-settling.

Why Double Habit Loops Cause Sleep Problems?

1. Baby Becomes Dependent on Parental Help

Babies naturally wake up multiple times a night due to their sleep cycles. However, when they rely on an external sleep prop (like rocking, feeding, or holding), they don’t learn how to resettle themselves when they wake.

2. Parents Get Stuck in a Cycle of Sleep Deprivation

The more frequently a baby wakes and requires parental help, the more exhausted the parents become. Sleep deprivation can lead to frustration, anxiety, and even resentment.

3. Sleep Associations Get Stronger Over Time

The longer a sleep habit continues, the harder it is to break.

How the ABC Model Explains Sleep Struggles:

The ABC model (Antecedent-Behavior-Consequence) is used in psychology to explain how behaviours are maintained. It applies perfectly to infant sleep habits.

A – Antecedent (What happens before the behavior?) . The baby wakes at night. The baby expects a familiar sleep cue (rocking, feeding, pacifier).

B – Behavior (What does the baby do?). The baby cries to signal the parent.

C – Consequence (What happens after the behaviour?) The parent soothes the baby in the usual way (rocking, feeding).

This cycle reinforces the baby’s expectation that they need help falling back asleep.

Breaking the Cycle Using the ABC Model

To change the habit, you need to adjust the consequence, therefore how you respond to the baby’s night wakings. Instead of reinforcing the old habit, shift towards responses that encourage independent sleep.

How to Break a Double Habit Loop and Improve Sleep

The key to changing sleep habits is through gradual adjustments and consistency. Here’s how:

1. Shift the Routine in Small Steps

If your baby relies on rocking, you can start by rocking until drowsy but awake (although i do not love the drowsy but awake approach for many reasons), then place them in the cot. Alternatively slowly reduce rocking time each night until your baby can settle without it.

If your baby relies on feeding to sleep, begin feeding earlier in the bedtime routine instead of right before sleep or even in a different room. Gradually replace feeding with other calming activities like a lullaby or patting.

2. Introduce Positive Sleep Cues

Create a consistent bedtime routine with sleep signals that don’t require your intervention:. For example, dim the lights, use white noise, have a predictable routine (bath, book, cuddle, bed).

These cues teach your baby that it’s time for sleep, even without external help.

3. Pause Before Responding to Night Wakings.

If your baby wakes, wait a few minutes before picking them up or depending on their age, entering their room. Try using verbal reassurances and/or a gentle pat instead of immediately rocking or feeding. Over time, your baby will learn to resettle themselves.

4. Adjust Parental Habits

Parents also need to break their own habit loops. Recognise that responding immediately isn’t always necessary. If their are two parents involved, support each other in overnight interventions.

5. Be Consistent! Don’t Give Mixed Signals

If you decide to stop rocking your baby to sleep, stick with it. Inconsistency confuses babies and toddlers making the transition harder.

Baby sleeping following a consistent bedtime routine

What to Expect When Changing Sleep Habits

When you stop rocking or feeding to sleep, your baby may cry more at first. This is natural and normal. It is how they express confusion over the change. Stay calm and consistent.

Breaking a habit loop doesn’t happen overnight. Expect gradual progress over a couple of weeks. Once your little one learns to self-settle, they will sleep for longer stretches without needing you. This benefits both your baby and your family!

Finally understanding habit loops and double habit loops can help you identify sleep problems and create lasting solutions. By using the ABC model, adjusting your responses, and fostering independent sleep habits, you can help your baby, and yourself, get the rest you need.

Remember small changes lead to big improvements. If you change nothing, nothing will change. Breaking sleep habits takes time, but with consistency, your baby will learn to sleep independently and your whole family will enjoy better nights!

Do you have specific sleep challenges with your baby? Share your experiences in the comments!

Note: While this blog primarily refers to "baby," the information applies to all infants, including newborns and older infants approaching toddlerhood. The principles of habit loops, double habit loops, and the ABC model are relevant across different stages of infancy and can help caregivers support healthier sleep habits at any age.